Teaching Your Teen to Drive? Ask This Simple Question

“What should I tell my mom to do to better help me learn how to drive?”

One of my students once posed this question to me, which was interesting. Not that there isn’t anything her mom can do to help, it’s just that usually it’s the parent who asks that question - perhaps you’ve asked this yourself, “How can I better help my teen learn how to drive?”

How can you better help your teen learn how to drive?

Regardless of who is asking the question, my answer is going to be the same. If a parent wants to better help their teenager learn how to drive, they should do this one simple thing - ask questions.

What Is the best question to ask a teen driver?

The best question to ask a teen driver to improve awareness is: “What’s the color of the car behind you?” This simple question encourages mirror checks, scanning habits, and situational awareness while driving.

If you ask the question, and they have to glance up at the rearview mirror before they answer, you know they are not completely aware of their surroundings.

Driving is more than just knowing how to steer and apply the gas or brake. Safe drivers are aware drivers. It won’t matter if a teenager knows how to use the brake, if they never even see the stopped car in front of them!

Why “What’s the Color of the Car Behind You?” Works

It seems obvious for experienced drivers. Of course, you need to be watching what’s happening around you. But you’ve had years of experience. Teenagers do not. They need to learn and practice scanning the road, processing their surroundings, and knowing how to respond appropriately.

When you ask the question, “What’s the color of the car behind you?”, it:

• Encourages mirror checks

• Prevents tunnel vision

• Builds scanning habits

• Improves defensive driving awareness

So, next time you’re in the passenger seat with your teenager driving, simply ask them, “What’s the color of the car behind you?”

Why is asking questions effective when teaching teens to be safe drivers?

According to a resource from Cornell University’s Center for Teaching Innovation, questions will help students:

• stay engaged by keeping their attention and reinforcing their participation

• retain information by putting their unarticulated thoughts into their own words*

Isn’t that exactly what you want your teenager to do while you’re teaching them to drive?

Have you had the experience of getting in the car for another lesson with your teen, they pull out of the driveway, and within minutes they are making the same mistake as the last time? It’s maddening for a parent!

You told them last time not to do this or that, yet here they are doing it again. The problem is that they either just straight up weren’t listening because they had mentally checked out, or they heard you, but by the time they were done driving and on to the next activity, they forgot.

When your son or daughter is behind the wheel, you want their full focus and participation, as well as for them to actually retain what you’re teaching them! Asking questions, instead of just telling information, will help that.

What other questions should you ask your teen while teaching them to drive safely?

During the driving lesson with your teen, keep the conversation going. Ask more questions while staying calm (resist any temptation to be passive aggressive, this will only shut your teen down). Ask questions such as:

• What are the signs telling you?

• How fast are you going?

• What do you need to do before we merge onto the highway up ahead (or other upcoming situation)?

• What else? (the best follow up question)

FAQs about teaching teens how to drive

Is it better to ask questions or give instructions when teaching a teen to drive?

Asking questions is often more effective than giving repeated instructions. Questions keep teens mentally engaged and help them process what’s happening on the road. Instead of reacting to mistakes after they happen, questions encourage active thinking and better retention of safe driving habits.

How can I help my teen improve awareness while driving?

Encourage regular scanning habits by asking questions about mirrors, traffic signs, and nearby vehicles. Questions like “What’s behind you?” or “What signs do you see ahead?” build situational awareness and defensive driving skills over time.

Why do teen drivers forget corrections so quickly?

Teen drivers are processing many new skills at once - steering, braking, traffic signs, mirrors, and surrounding vehicles. Without active engagement, verbal corrections may not stick. Asking questions helps move driving skills from short-term awareness into long-term habits.

If asking questions has helped but you still feel overwhelmed, structured and practical guidance can make a significant difference. Teaching a teen to drive is more than just logging hours, it’s building habits, awareness, and confidence that last a lifetime.

Are there recommended online courses or guides for parents teaching teens to drive?

If you’re a parent teaching your teen how to drive you probably feel totally overwhelmed and maybe even terrified. It’s natural that you’d want resources to help you become a better coach for your teen driver. If you’ve been looking for online courses or guides for parents teaching teens to drive, then you should check out the Parent’s Guide to Teen Driving.

After coaching hundreds of teens and helping their families navigate the journey to driving independence, I developed the Parent’s Guide to Teen Driving - a step-by-step video course designed to help parents confidently coach their teens into safe, defensive, and capable drivers.

With this course, you'll be able to:

• Feel prepared instead of anxious

• Coach calmly instead of reacting emotionally

• Build awareness instead of fear-based obedience

• Create productive, confidence-building driving sessions

• Start or continue the driving journey with clarity, not chaos

If you’re ready to shift gears and go from chaos to calm and confidence during your driving lessons, then check it out here:

Check out Parent's Guide to Teen Driving

Teaching your teen to drive doesn’t have to feel chaotic or confrontational. Often, the most effective coaching tool isn’t a correction - it’s a question. By asking thoughtful questions that encourage scanning, awareness, and anticipation, you help your teen become an engaged, defensive driver rather than a reactive one. Over time, those small moments of guided thinking add up to safer habits behind the wheel. And that’s ultimately what every parent wants, not just a licensed driver, but a safe, responsible, and aware one.

*Using Effective Questions: Center for Teaching Innovation

https://teaching.cornell.edu/teaching-resources/engaging-students/using-effective-questions