How to Talk with Your Teen about Drinking & Driving

Sep 18, 2020
7 min read

Drinking and Driving is a serious offense. Most teenagers already know they are not supposed to drink and drive. The harder question is whether they will make a safe decision when they are under pressure, worried about getting in trouble, or riding with a friend who has been drinking.

As a parent, there are steps you can take to help your teen understand the consequences involved with their actions behind the wheel so that they make responsible choices. You can help by starting the conversation before that moment occurs.

The best way to talk to a teenager about drinking and driving is to begin before they face the situation, ask how they would respond to realistic scenarios, explain the safety and legal consequences, and create a clear plan for getting home without fear of calling for help. In this article, we’ll explain how to talk about the risks without relying only on lectures or scare tactics - and how to help your teen prepare for a real-life situation involving alcohol and driving.

The Statistics about Underage Drinking and Driving Under the Influence

Mom and teen daughter sitting on couch looking at phone

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) estimates that in 2024 11,904 people (which is 30% of all driving fatalities) were killed in alcohol-impaired driving crashes. In Pennsylvania alone in 2025, there were 196 deaths due to alcohol-related car crashes. Also significant is just the number of car crashes due to drinking. Again, in PA, there were 7,316 crashes with alcohol involved, and 455 of those were under the age of 21.

The Foundation for Advancing Alcohol Responsibility recently published a series of current Underage Drinking Statistics. In 2024, “about 5.1 million Americans between the ages of 12 and 20 report current alcohol consumption.” Though this number is decreasing, it’s still a persistent problem.

Before You Talk with Your Teen About Drinking and Driving

As a child is growing up, they are always observing and learning from the behavior of others. At young ages, this is primarily from parents. As the child enters their tween and teenage years, they are also confronted with the addition of peer pressure and media influences. Parents need to not only lead by example, but also have open communication about the risks involved with drinking.

First and foremost, it is vital for parents to teach their children how their new age not only comes with exciting privileges, like their drivers license, but also heightened responsibility. Yes, it’s great that they will be able to drive - they should be excited about that! But, they also need to understand that same 4,000-pound vehicle which gives them freedom is also capable of killing.

Use Real Stories Without Relying Only on Fear

One very effective approach to talking with your teen to give them an “a-HA” moment is to share about real-life incidents. Sadly, there are always new stories about drinking and driving car crashes. For example in Wilmington, Delaware, a drunk driver killed 3 people when he crashed into another vehicle when he sped through an intersection. There are plenty of other tragic examples, as well, such as the case of this car crash in L.A. where a teen driving a VW Beetle collided with a city bus.

Explain Pennsylvania’s Underage DUI Laws

Another consequence of drinking and driving are the legal punishments involved with driving impaired. It’s critical to understand that PA has a zero-tolerance policy for underage drinking and driving. In PA, those under the age of 21 “driving under the influence with a .02 blood alcohol content, or greater, face severe penalties, including a 12-to 18-month license suspension, 48 hours to six months in jail, and fines from $500 to $5,000.” Those over 21 have slightly different consequences, though it can still get steep, not to mention the risk of hurting others.

Understanding the Teenage Brain - Why Teens May Make Different Decisions Under Pressure

When you are entering these conversations with your teen, it is also important to remember their brains are not fully developed yet. This is not their fault, but simply a realistic part of life which plays a significant part in their actions during adolescence.

The parts of the brain involved in planning, impulse control, and weighing long-term consequences continue developing through adolescence and into young adulthood. At the same time, social rewards and peer acceptance can feel especially important to teenagers. A teen who understands the danger while talking calmly at home may therefore have more difficulty acting on that knowledge in a stressful social situation.

As Dr. Andrew Garner, M.D., FAAP explains: “If you ask a teenager whether it is a good idea to get into a car with friends who are drunk, most would say ‘no way.’ That’s the PFC talking. In calmer moments, the relatively slow PFC is able to think abstractly and see the potentially dire consequences of driving when drunk. But, in the heat of the moment, the relatively more developed AMG screams ‘just do it’ before the PFC knows what happened.”

Dr. Garner also reiterates how brain development is not a complete excuse for teenage errors, but it can assist with explaining them. Talk with your teen about the science of their brain. It might help them look at the topic more clearly and prepare for situations when they need to make responsible decisions.

Create a Family Safe-Ride Plan

There may come a time when you receive a phone call in the middle of the night. In this moment, you’ll feel a full range of emotions; from disappointment to frustration to fear. However, your child needs to know you are going to be available to come pick them up without facing anger, at least not right away.

If they are worried about your reaction, they might hesitate to call you, resulting in the “no big deal” mentality and try to make it home themselves.

Your teen needs to know beforehand that they will be met with judgement-free assistance in order to get home the safest way possible.

If you suspect your child is attending an occasion where there might be drinking involved, make sure they are aware you are a trusted option at the end of the night.

This doesn’t mean that you will overlook what happened or that there won’t be consequences. Those discussions can come the following day.

What Should Parents Say to Their Teen About Drinking and Driving?

When it comes to coaching teens on how to drive safely, I encourage parents to use questions because it allows the teen to process information better. Similarly, when talking about drinking and driving, don’t just dive into one long lecture. Make it collaborative problem solving discussion.

Here are some specific examples of how you can start and engage in a conversation with your teen about drinking and driving.

What would you do if the person who drove you to a party started drinking?
How could you tell whether a friend was safe to drive?
What might make it difficult to speak up or leave?
Who could you call if you needed a ride home?
What can we agree will happen if you call us for help?

Set Clear Expectations About Alcohol and Driving

Depending on your personal parenting style, you might allow your teen to drink at home or at supervised family occasions. While underage drinking is illegal, we know that “just at home” drinking is common. If this pertains to your household, it’s important to explain to your teen the differences between a family party surrounded by trusted adults, and a party full of teens who might not consider their safety a priority.

You need to be sure to set realistic expectations with your teen. Make sure they understand not only the clear distinction, but also the risks involved with their transportation safety. And as always, make sure you are leading by example at family gatherings.

Keep the Conversation Going as Your Teen Gets Older

It’s also important to note how as your teen ages and turns 21, they are still at risk. In fact, it might be more risky once they are legally allowed to drink. They may no longer be new drivers, but they are still in need of safety reminders. Remember to reiterate to your young adults how even though it’s legal for them to drink, it doesn't mean it’s legal to drink and drive.

Additional Resources for Talking with Your Teen About Drinking and Driving

If you found this blog helpful, then I encourage you to visit the links below to find more statistics, videos, guides, and even an online course! I hope these resources assist with your further research as you seek to teach your new teen driver to be as smart and safe on the road as possible!

The Foundation for Advancing Alcohol Responsibility has an in-depth website full of detailed statistics and research. It also includes a thorough and organized list of discussion topics for children of all ages regarding alcohol in your family, and helpful resources to aid parents in these challenging conversations. Some of the article topics include:

The U.S. Department of Transportation’s National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has created several marketing campaigns against drunk driving which can be additional helpful resources for your family during these discussions. Click the links below to learn more: